msjen

Trend alert: Band names beginning with "The" are out. Bands with "Glass" in their names are in. Also - random animals, still popular.
Best show: Leonard Cohen, duh.
Second best show: Throbbing Gristle
Surprise awesome: Patton & Rahzel
Major Fail Award: Morissey. Apparently the smell of burning animal flesh (aka barbecue) is so horrifying that it makes him forget the lyrics to "Ask." Dude. Get it together.
Runner-up, Major Fail Award: Perry Farrell (Said ammonoid, "At least you know it's live.")
Most overwhelming sensory experience (in a good way): My Bloody Eardrums Valentine
Band that really isn't the same without kampachi: TV on the Radio
Biggest logistical nightmare: The Chemical Brothers
Number of wasted teenage ravers: probably hundreds (see above)
Number of Joy Division t-shirts: 6
Oldest people at the event: Well, according to the news it was the oldest crowd ever, and I did see lots of boomers...but we felt pretty old all weekend, so I'm gonna go with: us.
Biggest mystery: Why would they put Throbbing Gristle and The Cure on at the same time?
Little-known Coachella fact: The videographer for the main stage seems to have a foot fetish. On a related note, the various female singers of Thievery Corporation have nice shoes.
Most popular genre: Country/folk/rock. Ick. Wasn't a good year for new bands.
Most popular instrument: horns, horns, and more horns. Also airhorns.
Most popular band activity: asking the audience if they've ever been in love/lost in love/had various love-related experiences.
Sentence I never want to utter again, even though at the time it seemed like a good idea: "Let's stay for a few songs of The Killers."
Best quote of the weekend, from bodyfour, imitating the lead singer of The Killers emoting about love: "Have you ever had a pet hamster? And the hamster died? And all you wanted was to get your hamster back, but you just couldn't?"
Best team effort: as usual, booking out of the parking lot before the headliner
Best band for my inner angsty teenager: Fucked Up
Weirdest musical transition: Crystal Castles --> Leonard Cohen
Best-dressed band: The Ting Tings
Best hat: Flavor Flav
Best-preserved rock star: Chris Carter
Second-best preserved rock star: Robert Smith. Yes, seriously.
Best musical moment: other artists in the wings of the Throbbing Gristle show, rocking out.
Best non-musical moment: driving around the Inland Empire listening to bad radio. (Oh wait, I guess that's a musical moment too.)
Number of bands I saw: 29
Number of bands that sucked: 7
Most missed person at Coachella: defenestr8r
Awesome people who rock: ammonoid and bodyfour

My new favorite band: The Teddybears. Trust me, you have not lived until you have seen Swedes in three-piece suits and giant bear heads playing guitars. (Said defenestr8r:"Well, that was unexpected!")
Trend alert: Bands with "Wolf" in their names are out. Bands with "Bear" in their names are in.
Biggest disappointment: tied between The Decemberists and Sonic Youth
Best show of the festival, and possibly ever: Gogol Bordello
Number of bands with accordions: 3
Number of bands who whistled: 3
Number of hiphop bands with a tuba: 1
Oldest people at the event: We were close. This year felt really young. But then again, there was the mass exodus of people who were clearly over 30 after Rage played "Bombtrack." That made me feel slightly better.
Best thing to blame logistical problems on: Rage Against the Machine fans
Most popular t-shirt: Well, discounting Rage shirts, Led Zepplin, which I thought was weird.
Biggest mystery: Why is the ghost of Joey Ramone DJing instead of Daniel Ash?
Most popular genre: What's a genre?
The new black: inane lyrics (yeah yeah yeah, la la la, whoo whoo whoo, etc)
Most popular band activity: commenting on how much hotter it is here than in the UK
Best quote of the weekend, from fightingwords: "Worried your girlfriend can't see the show? Try dating taller girls." This was followed by the throwing of bottlecaps at girls on their boyfriends' shoulders who were blocking the view. Rock.
Best comment from the audience, during Arctic Monkeys (recall that they're Scottish): "What the fuck are they saying?"
Length of time my excitement at seeing the Red Hot Chili Peppers lasted: 90 seconds
Best team effort: subsequently running away in terror from the Red Hot Chili Peppers
Sentence I never want to utter again in my lifetime: "I think it's time for Willie Nelson."
Weirdest musical transitions: Explosions in the Sky --> The Roots --> Willie Nelson
Biggest increase in age of performers from one show to the next: Arctic Monkeys --> The Jesus and Mary Chain
Band that seemed the most freaked out by being there (but in a cute way): Silversun Pickups
Worst facial hair: Anthony Kiedis
Second worst facial hair: Interpol
Best dressed band: The Arcade Fire
Hottest band: Placebo, duh
Funniest moment: The people in the truck next to us who decided to kill time while stuck in traffic by having sex. In broad daylight. So we of course had to point this out to everyone on the road. And take pictures.
Best musical moment: The Roots covering Bob Dylan (and did I mention the tuba?)
Best non-musical moment: champagne + hot tub
Number of bands I saw: 33
Number of bands that sucked: 7 (up from last year, but still not bad)
Most missed person at Coachella: bodyfour
Women who rock: kampachi, defenestr8r, fightingwords