msjen

Trend alert: Band names beginning with "The" are out. Bands with "Glass" in their names are in. Also - random animals, still popular.
Best show: Leonard Cohen, duh.
Second best show: Throbbing Gristle
Surprise awesome: Patton & Rahzel
Major Fail Award: Morissey. Apparently the smell of burning animal flesh (aka barbecue) is so horrifying that it makes him forget the lyrics to "Ask." Dude. Get it together.
Runner-up, Major Fail Award: Perry Farrell (Said ammonoid, "At least you know it's live.")
Most overwhelming sensory experience (in a good way): My Bloody Eardrums Valentine
Band that really isn't the same without kampachi: TV on the Radio
Biggest logistical nightmare: The Chemical Brothers
Number of wasted teenage ravers: probably hundreds (see above)
Number of Joy Division t-shirts: 6
Oldest people at the event: Well, according to the news it was the oldest crowd ever, and I did see lots of boomers...but we felt pretty old all weekend, so I'm gonna go with: us.
Biggest mystery: Why would they put Throbbing Gristle and The Cure on at the same time?
Little-known Coachella fact: The videographer for the main stage seems to have a foot fetish. On a related note, the various female singers of Thievery Corporation have nice shoes.
Most popular genre: Country/folk/rock. Ick. Wasn't a good year for new bands.
Most popular instrument: horns, horns, and more horns. Also airhorns.
Most popular band activity: asking the audience if they've ever been in love/lost in love/had various love-related experiences.
Sentence I never want to utter again, even though at the time it seemed like a good idea: "Let's stay for a few songs of The Killers."
Best quote of the weekend, from bodyfour, imitating the lead singer of The Killers emoting about love: "Have you ever had a pet hamster? And the hamster died? And all you wanted was to get your hamster back, but you just couldn't?"
Best team effort: as usual, booking out of the parking lot before the headliner
Best band for my inner angsty teenager: Fucked Up
Weirdest musical transition: Crystal Castles --> Leonard Cohen
Best-dressed band: The Ting Tings
Best hat: Flavor Flav
Best-preserved rock star: Chris Carter
Second-best preserved rock star: Robert Smith. Yes, seriously.
Best musical moment: other artists in the wings of the Throbbing Gristle show, rocking out.
Best non-musical moment: driving around the Inland Empire listening to bad radio. (Oh wait, I guess that's a musical moment too.)
Number of bands I saw: 29
Number of bands that sucked: 7
Most missed person at Coachella: defenestr8r
Awesome people who rock: ammonoid and bodyfour